There Are Plenty of Fish in the Sea — So Why Are We All Trying to Look Alike?
There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Apparently, there are also a lot of fish in the aquarium.
During a recent aquarium visit, I found myself paying less attention to the exhibits and more attention to the sheer individuality of everything swimming around me.
Different species. Different shapes. Different colours. Different patterns.
Stripes. Spots. Strange little faces. Some beautiful. Some… objectively funky.
And yet, they all moved through the water with the same quiet confidence.
Nobody was trying to look like the fish next door.
And it made me wonder:
When did we become so afraid to be different?
The Algorithm Wants a Clone
We live in a remarkably homogeneous moment.
Social media has made it easier than ever to see what everyone else is wearing, buying, driving, decorating, eating, travelling to and aspiring toward.
And suddenly, everyone wants the same jeans.
The same neutral wardrobe.
The same kitchen.
The same car.
The same destinations.
The same career milestones.
The same version of success.
And because we are constantly being shown what is desirable, it can become surprisingly difficult to figure out what you actually desire.
Sometimes the algorithm isn't just influencing your feed.
It's influencing your identity.
Your Stripes Are the Point
Watching those fish made me appreciate something I think we forget:
Individuality isn't something you have to manufacture.
You already have it.
Your odd little preferences. Your specific sense of humour. The way you decorate. The things you notice that other people don't. The subjects you could talk about for hours. Your voice. Your taste. Your quirks.
Those aren't flaws to smooth out on the way to becoming your “best self.”
They may actually be the raw material.
The fish with the funky little face wasn't swimming around thinking, Damn, I wish I looked more like that one.
It was just being a fish.
And somehow, that was enough.
You Don't Have to Want What Everyone Wants
Maybe you don't want the six-figure corporate career.
Maybe you do.
Maybe you want the big house.
Maybe you'd rather have the beautiful little apartment in the city.
Maybe everyone is planning a wedding and you're perfectly happy being single.
Maybe everyone is building a seven-figure business and you actually want a small, wildly profitable one that gives you your Tuesday afternoons back.
There is no prize for having the most socially recognizable dream.
A dream isn't more worthy because other people understand it.
The question isn't Does this look good on Instagram?
It's:
Does this actually look good on me?
Let Yourself Be a Little Funky
I think we're so accustomed to curating ourselves that we've forgotten how to discover ourselves.
So I'm trying something different.
I'm paying attention to what feels distinctly me.
What do I want my style to look like?
What do I want my voice to sound like?
What do I want my home to feel like?
What do I actually enjoy?
What am I curious about?
What would I choose if nobody could post it, like it, comment on it or validate it?
Because perhaps the goal isn't to create a more impressive version of yourself.
Perhaps it's to become a more specific one.
Emsy's Take
The aquarium reminded me that there is room for all kinds of fish.
The spotted ones.
The striped ones.
The tiny ones.
The enormous ones.
The elegant ones.
And, respectfully, the weird-looking ones.
They don't need to become one another to belong in the same ocean.
Neither do we.
So if your taste is different, let it be different.
If your path is unconventional, explore it.
If your dream doesn't look like the mood board everyone else is posting, don't throw it away.
Maybe you're not behind. Maybe you're just not supposed to be swimming in their direction.
The world already has enough copies.
Own your stripes.
Own your spots.
Own your weird little fins.
And whatever you do, don't let the algorithm convince you that you need to look like the fish next to you.
There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Thank God we're not all the same.
XOXO, Emsy 💕
